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R/£ Ways to deal with difficult kids
April 23, 2007 Edition 3
Jabulile Ngwenya
The Parent:
Sibusiso is a frustrated father of six-year-old Kabelo. His son was two years old when he was first diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
"The pediatrician was the first to notice there was some stagnation in his speech," Sibusiso recalls.
Before it was discovered that he had ADD, he attended a year of speech therapy.
"While speech therapy proved useful," recounts Sibusiso, "it was not enough to unlock his speaking potential. We went to consult developmental pediatricians who, after assessments, established he had ADD."
"In the beginning I would worry a lot about his future, whether he could make it like anyone without learning difficulties, if he would grow up to be a good student, study and become a complete, balanced young person and be able to take on responsibilities and look after himself."
Now, he says, these "worries are starting to fade," for his son is a determined little boy.
"When I noticed that he had a strong will to do better and his positive response when he changed schools - going to a special needs school - I found more motivation and energy to help him fight."
Sibusiso admits it wasn't easy at all: "The first months were the hardest. We went through weeks of sleepless nights. We felt a bit hopeful upon hearing about therapy.
"But still, the aftermath of the shock comes back, disturbing you again and again.
"Kabelo is not on any medication, but he followed a one-on-one teaching therapy a year ago, aimed at giving the child confidence in himself and raising his levels of concentration."
Looking back, Sibusiso says: "I think Kabelo was the most affected of us all. Even though he didn't understand what was happening, you could see he was aware that sometimes his speech would let him down.
"That really got him frustrated, but he surprised me - he put up a hell of a fight to work on making progress and it is paying off."
Sibusiso stresses that it is critical for parents to have a good relationship with their child's teacher: "Having such a relationship is crucial if any parent wants to see his child make progress."
He says that he sometimes got better results with his son using different methods, different to those of the teachers and, he would communicate with the teachers.
"Some of those methods have been integrated and included in the teaching techniques used by the school."
Kabelo is now in his last year of pre-school. His father proudly says, "He has improved a lot. He has made outstanding progress since then."
Kabelo, who has just started writing and reading, is one of the best performers in his class. He is energetic, participating in gymnastics and swimming.
What endears him to his father is the fact that he is caring, intelligent, assertive and very diplomatic.
"Showing your child you love him is by far the best therapy he could undergo," Sibusiso says.
"Show him love, trust and that you believe in him. This is an important ingredient for his future well-being.
"It does not at all come easy, but keeping in mind the end result is motivation enough for anyone to try to do their best."
The Teacher
Diane Scheckle, a Grade 4 teacher at Craighall Primary School has taught for 29 years and has many years of experience teaching difficult children in the classroom.
"Very few parents pick up the fact that their child has a problem and when approached gently will be committed to helping their child.
"Never step on a parent's dreams for their child," Scheckle notes.
With a surge in diagnoses of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), she explains the differences: "ADHD is when the motor nerves are affected, resulting in hyperactivity. ADD is when the sensory nerves are affected, resulting in a lack of concentration."
Few parents understand the importance of early childhood development.
Those who can afford it will send their child for private help. Scheckle offers extra tuition in the afternoons.
"An EEG is the only approved method to determine whether your child is hyper or not." While the Ritalin controversy still simmers, Scheckle believes that some children grow out of it.
"People think it is a crime to put a child on Ritalin, yet if it helps him, they deny him the right to his education.
"If your child is diagnosed with ADHD or ADD, a neurologist should be the one to prescribe Ritalin."
Besides learning problems, there is also the "hard-to-teach child". These children are completely different - "We call it the discipline problem," says Scheckle.
"These children don't want to learn. They won't work in class and say: 'No, I won't.' It is a fast-growing problem in South Africa, the problem of ill-disciplined children."
Parental training can help. Some parents think it is the school's fault their child is unruly when the problem can be found at home or in the education system. Scheckle believes that the government "needs to first improve pupil-teacher ratios. Teachers cannot cope with 60 pupils."
Scheckle gets frustrated when she sees parents who don't do anything to help their child. Peer pressure and ridicule can exacerbate a problem. "The way other pupils in the class treat children with learning disabilities," she says, "depends on you as a teacher and how you speak."
"When you understand the problem, the behaviour subsides. If you praise a child, other class members will praise the child too," she says.
"Even the slightest step forwards deserves praise because they are improving, not just staying there."
Scheckle says: "There is nothing like praise to bring success."
The Therapists
Sound therapist and genetic brain dominance profiler Noeline Levinson heads Family Focus, a team of qualified experts who pool their skills to help parents and teachers deal with difficult children.
Their skills range from clinical psychology and brain profiling, to running workshops for parents and teachers on how to communicate better with children. This group offers something unique in its integrated approach to solving learning and behavioural challenges.
The Tomatis Method, a form of sound therapy, is included. Levinson explains: "We play filtered Mozart to the children, which helps their brains to be better integrated and, hence, prepares them for learning."
"The brain profile is a useful tool for all parents and teachers. It helps in communicating with the child, and gives us an idea of who we are looking at and dealing with. It is time-saving to learn more effective routes of communication."
The brain profile, according to Levinson, takes about 10 minutes. "It is a blueprint of what inputs and outputs don't work under stress, and helps us find out where the strengths and weaknesses are, and where to place the child in the classroom."
Family Focus' purpose is to "educate and repair families in bringing children and parents back together". Levinson believes that the problems children have in the classroom aren't just learning problems - "it is more of a listening problem".
The society we live in today, filled with environmental, chemical and social network changes affects children and how they learn.
A Swiss study on heavy metal toxicity and how they affect children - conducted a few years ago - indicated that South African children have higher levels of lead in their bodies than their Swiss counterparts. The presence of lead in the body inhibits the absorption of vitamin B1, which enables people to remain calm and focused.
"The environment is so polluted, how could it not affect children. When we were growing up, we didn't know anyone who had cancer or a learning disability," says Levinson. "Even mercury tooth fillings have an effect on the unborn baby."
Emotional problems, trauma and/or bio-chemical disturbances can also interrupt brain development. Trauma can be experienced through crime or feeling that their parents are not available to them in that "the parents do not provide protection and support to the child".
"Protection," interjects clinical psychologist Beulah Levinson, "also means to teach a child how to integrate and manage their feelings."
"These problems," she explains, "as well as emotional difficulties, contribute to communication breakdown between parents and children. When these biochemical reactions go wrong, they can be addressed via the various options that Family Focus offer."
Noeline adds: "We look at what happens to the mother during pregnancy for what the mother goes through emotionally can be passed on to the child in-utero." Sound therapy helps take the child back into the womb and do things right.
"Many schools are struggling with children - we need to ask: 'Why so many children?'"
"We want children to pay attention to what they are learning. We look at why the child is having problems by looking at the child as a whole. We address nutrition, family dynamics and environmental effects."
Parenting workshops and teacher assistance are also provided to help understand what these children require to help facilitate the learning and management process.
This is the age of information overload. "When children appear switched off, they have too much information and noise around them to process. We want them to be calm and balanced so they can process information."
Former teacher, Jenny Harrington-Johnson notes: "Parents want their children to grow up too quickly. They are too busy and involved in their own work. In this way, a society of children who don't care is created because it hurts too much for them to feel emotion."
Levinson states: "No one is doing anything wrong. It is not about blaming. We educate parents, giving them the tools to cope."
"A parent or educator will tell us if they have a problem with a child. We deal with all kinds of problems, from dyslexia, ADHD, autism to low muscle tone and more."
"The therapies we offer are scientifically researched; we have been here for over 20 years doing this work.
"Our success rate depends on how committed the parents are. The success rate is a hundred percent if the parents are committed."
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